Some times weight loss means playing tricks on myself

Things that are bugging me today:
1. My next-door neighbors have been doing some sort of renovations in their apartment--I assume bathroom-related because of all the clanging--for over a week now, and the noise, while audible everywhere in our apartment, is concentrated in my bedroom. Ergo, even though for two Saturdays in a row now my teenager has taken all the other kids to the closest-thing-we-have-to-a-park while the 2-year old naps, AND I’ve actually wanted to take a nap (me napping by choice and Haley’s Comet are on equal footing in terms of frequency), I can’t sleep.
2. My kids are after me to set up the Christmas tree, which I’m all about, but the movers were supposed to pack up our little tree and instead sent the big one, which is a pain in the patootie to assemble. Usually I let dh do it, but he’s off camping with our older son and the Boy Scouts. While I could just add this to the already really long list of Ways In Which I Have Disappointed My Children Time and Again, I’ll probably do it tonight after they go to bed. It’s bad enough actually doing it; I certainly don’t want them watching me do it (and by “watching me” I mean “asking me every 90 seconds if I’m done yet”).
3. My thighs really hurt. I mean really really. My husband forced me to exercise with him on Thursday and forced me to do squats and other squat-like things and now I can barely walk, let alone sit or get up from sitting. I’m finding myself hobbling around telling myself “Walk normally” but then I can’t remember how to do that, because the pain has erased all memory of ever having done it. I think I’ve stepped gingerly my entire life. And don’t talk to me about going to the bathroom. Also don’t talk to me about how great church was yesterday with my wiggly toddler and his bony little bum on my lap for an hour. I can only thank my years of worship service etiquette training for keeping me from yelping and/or cursing loudly several times.
4. There’s this character on Bob the Builder that has what I believe is the official Worst Voice Ever. I think she’s the wife of the town building inspector. I don’t know for sure, because I can’t bring myself to pay close enough attention to it to find out. My lands this woman is awful! I thought for sure this title belonged permanently to Henry the Octopus, but she makes him sound like Sting or Bono or any other smooth-talking smooth talker you can think of.
5. My toddler watches Bob the Builder 7,483 times a day.
6. We don’t have real television, only DVDs.
7. Sam's favorite Bob the Builder DVD has Mrs. Building Inspector in every. stinking. episode.
8. Cupcakes aren’t calorie-free.
9. My daughter’s birthday was 2 days ago, and nobody has eaten all the cupcakes yet. That means that besides the clanging and that horrible horrible woman’s voice, I’ve also had to listen to cupcakes chattering at me non-stop. I truthfully can’t decide which one is the worst.
10. I’m having a really hard time making myself exercise today.

Lest you think I’m in a bad mood (Hee, I originally typed that “bod mood.” I think that would either be a time when I’m really excited about working out or how Arnold Schwarzenegger expresses crankiness.), I also have plenty of things that are counteracting all of the above (except for the thigh pain; nothing makes that better). These things include but are not limited to: the Christmas signs and decorations my girls have plastered all over the house (especially the snowflakes that my 6-year old just learned how to make), I spelled “Schwarzenegger” correctly without having to look it up, and no one has eaten all the cupcakes yet.

As for the exercise, I’m going to have to trick myself into it. Usually this involves plying myself with magazines, but I’m all out. So I’m going to post this and then go ride my stationary bike while I watch a show on my computer. Really I am. Really really really.

But this also got me to wondering: how do you get yourself to exercise when you don’t want to? And if the answer is, “I just don’t,” (I think that’s the opposite of WWND--What Would Nike Do), why is that? What keeps you from exercising?

Maybe I should invent an exercise machine that plays Mrs. B.I.’s voice loudly unless you’re working in your target heart rate zone. I’d be skinny in no time!

UPDATE: 40 minutes on the bike. My legs still hurt. Oh well. Also, what is up with Dandrew? How are they possibly still in the race?!