Making Holly's Dreams Come True

(Did you think that because November is over we dropped off the face of the blogsphere?)

(Odds would have been in your favor, you know.)

Did you know that reputable scientific study after reputable scientific study says that when you're sick you should rest, read, and eat copious amounts of friend cheese and chocolate?

Sweet.

Oh, wait...dang. Sorry, Hol. The general rule is that if the illness is from the neck up, go ahead and exercise (gently, yes, but you can still do it), but if it's below the neck, rest your bootay. This is Holly's situation, see. Poor sick Holly.

Unfortunately when you've significantly reduced your physical activity that also means you need to reduce your caloric intake. I'm no expert (though I should be for the amount of magazines I read), but I think that "reduced caloric intake" means the opposite of chocolate and fried cheese (unless you go with the low/no fat/calorie/taste chocolate/fried cheese)(and if you do, two questions: 1. Why? and 2. Why are we friends...?). Old wives will tell you that you need to feed a cold, but then please consider that they'll also tell you that you shouldn't read in dim lighting, and that's just plain crazy. (Please, like anything other than pitch black is too dim to read. And even then there's a good chance you can find a cell phone or iPod to use for illumination.)

Eat good, healthy food, and drink lots of water. Oh, and call me.

Love, Mom

P.S. Here is the IM conversation that precipitated this post (also from which I stole all the jokes in it):

H: that article said
H: gentle exercise is fine when you have a head cold
H: but to avoid strenuous stuff
S: what I've read is if the sickness is from the neck up, so ahead and exercise gently, but if it's below the neck just rest
S: go, not so
H: but you'll likely prolong your illness by exercising if you have bronchitis or anything goopy in your lungs
H hey
H: same thing!
H: I might try pilates in a few days
H: but
S: rest
H: I'm afraid even that would wind me
S: and eat well!
H: I'm so out of shape!
H: lol
H: crap
S: neener neener
H: you caught me
S: sorry the articles don't say anything bout feeding the cold
H: lol
H: with fried cheese and chocolate!
S: I could write one for you
H: but then at the end I'd have to add "NOT!"
H: there you go
H: your next blog entry

I have a feeling Holly's never going to IM with me again.

A peek inside our twisted little brains

This is the transcript of an IM conversation Holly and I had earlier this year. It made me laugh, so I saved it. The only thing I changed about it was substituting our real IM monikers for the ingenious (and virtually uncrackable) code of "H" for Holly and "S" for me.

For a little context, we had been chatting earlier about me going out to lunch with some friends at a restaurant I'd never been to before, so I had been whining to her about not knowing what to get, and this is the conversation we had after I got home. She is so lucky to be my best friend!

Anyway, please enjoy:

H [4:39 P.M.]: how was lunch?
S [4:40 P.M.]: yum-o
S [4:40 P.M.]: I got "Chicken Delight"
S [4:40 P.M.]: which is like Turkish Delight I guess
S [4:40 P.M.]: but not gross
H [4:41 P.M.]: I'm going to start calling all my dinner recipes Something Delight
H [4:41 P.M.]: Chicken Delight
H [4:41 P.M.]: Tuna Delight
S [4:41 P.M.]: lol
H [4:41 P.M.]: Ramen Delight
H [4:41 P.M.]: McDelight
S [4:41 P.M.]: Eggs Weiners and Rice Delight
H [4:41 P.M.]: yep
H [4:41 P.M.]: Get Your Own Delight
S [4:41 P.M.]: Make Your Own Dang Delight
H [4:42 P.M.]: Leave Me Alone This Chapter is Really Good Delight
S [4:42 P.M.]: I Fed You Yesterday Delight
S [4:42 P.M.]: Your Hands Ain't Broke Delight
H [4:43 P.M.]: The Toaster's Over There Delight
S [4:43 P.M.]: What Do You Think They Invented Pizza Delivery For Delight
H [4:43 P.M.]: There's No End to Mama's Lack of Interest in Your Well-Being Delight
S [4:44 P.M.]: Cry Me A River Delight
S [4:44 P.M.]: You Don't Look Like You're Starving Delight
H [4:44 P.M.]: Tell Your Dad to Get off His Butt Delight
H [4:44 P.M.]: except then
H [4:45 P.M.]: it has Butt and Delight right next to each other
H [4:45 P.M.]: and I don't think that will do
S [4:45 P.M.]: ew
S [4:45 P.M.]: and lol
S [4:45 P.M.]: How about "You Have Two Parents Y'know Delight"
H [4:46 P.M.]: That's better
H [4:46 P.M.]: not so gross
S [4:46 P.M.]: yes
S [4:46 P.M.]: not quite as funny though
H [4:47 P.M.]: no
S [4:47 P.M.]: sigh
H [4:47 P.M.]: as much as it pains me
S [4:47 P.M.]: humor isn't everything
S [4:47 P.M.]: in theory
H [4:48 P.M.]: are you quite sure?
S [4:48 P.M.]: no