I Gave Birth to Muppets

It's the only explanation. When my children (girls, ages 10 and 4) eat, food enters their mouths, but then immediately flies out again in crumb form. There's no point in vacuuming, because the carpet crumb coating will reappear moments after I finish. (My fault for letting them eat over the carpet? Possibly.)

As frustrating as the Muppet-mouthed eating by my offspring is, I think they may be onto something. 

Think of the dieting possibilities. You want cookies but are worried about the calories? Just make sure you eat with your mouth wide open so most of the pieces fall out.