Amy Lawson, Come on Down!

Dear Amy,

Holly and I are busy putting together the prize packages for the contest that you dropped out of after three weeks. By "Holly and I," I mean "Holly," since I already mailed her my part of it; when it gets to her is up to the post office gods.

But back to the quitting. We understand. That's ok. Really it is. We've quit lots of stuff before, too. Mostly crafts. But also lots of weight loss-related things. For instance, weight loss. I think it's safe to say that we've both been lifestyle-changing (that's the PC way to say "dieting" nowadays, right?) most of our adult lives. Honestly, the only reason I didn't quit the contest is because Holly makes my kids really cool cakes on their birthdays and occasionally mails me shoes. If I had quit, the shoe pipeline would have likely dried up. (P.S. Holly, when are you going to give me those black shoes I borrowed in December? And the red ones. I want those, too. The End.)

We were pretty excited when so many people joined our contest and even more excited to see how many of them actually stayed with it the whole time. (Did you know that your sister stayed with it the whole time? Yeah, she's really great.) And Holly and I have been grateful the whole time that you gave us a mention/entire post on your blog which is what ultimately sent a large portion of those people to our blog. After that post, our readership increased sizeably, and our hits started coming more from Google Reader and less from people searching for this picture. I am not kidding. For most of this blog's existence, the majority of the people that have looked at it were really looking for Igor. And anytime we see a hit from the UK or northern Europe, we can pretty much guarantee they want Igor, not us. I can't explain it, and I'm not sure I want to, but that's how it was. Until you.

So we want to thank you. Since you did quit the contest, we can't technically send you a prize, but I hope no one will mind if we send you a present. It's not much, and there wasn't even close to a dozen dollars spent on it, but it's something I think you'll like. I originally bought for my son, but once I realized the treasure that it truly is, I quickly distracted him and stashed it away for me to keep, only occasionally bringing it out to show people on webcam so they can see the sheer awesomeness of it.

Here, I'll give you a hint:
And some clues:

• My son is obsessed with the movie Cars.
• I bought him a 10-pack of Cars cars at an Egyptian toy store for 35 LE (Egyptian pounds; that's about $6.29).
• Copyright laws in Egypt means nothing.
• Egyptians frequently manufacture and sell things that are made to look like licensed products but clearly are not.
• Many Egyptians don't speak English.
• Best I can tell, most of these companies that both make these products and don't speak English, have some sort of aversion to hiring native English speakers to, you know, proofread.
• Often, hilarity ensues.
• Best. children's. toy. ever.
  

Why am I telling you all of this, you ask? Because, if you want this really great truck (I promise you; you're going to want to hide it from your child lest he break it, uh--in the interest of full disclosure--more than my son already has)(but he just broke of one of the high-quality ladders on the side; the text is still fully in tact), and I think you do, we need you to please e-mail us your address to myweightisasecret at g-to-the-mizz-ail dot com, and I will send it on its way to live at your house.

Why didn't I just e-mail you privately, you ask? Because it's my day to post, and I can't think of anything to write about. Simple as that.

Never change except for the better (what? you mean I'm not signing your yearbook?),
Sara and Holly

P.S. I have a picture of the side, too, but thought I'd let you decide whether or not you want to see it before it arrives at your house. If so, lemme know, and I'll post it. If you want it to be a surprise, I'll wait until you have it before sharing with the class.

Dum, dum, dum, DUM! And the winner is...

Sun Productions! (Do you want me to reveal your real name Ms. Sun Productions?)

She lost a whopping 6.1% of her body weight. 

We're ever-so impressed. And also awestruck. 

In second place is dcfullest, who lost an amazing 4.23% of her body weight.

In third place is Patty, who lost an outstanding 4.07% of her body weight. 

Will the three of you please send your contact info to myweightisasecret at gmail dot com ? Thanks! The most amazing prizes in all the land are coming your way. Eventually. 

Kudos to Hannah, Sweet Escape and Katie who all lost more than 3% of their starting weights during the contest. 

A big old hearty pat on the back to Rachel, Maureen, Rachel R., Heather, Wendi, Marie, Renee, Sara (yes, that Sara), Holly (that's me!), Amy Lou Who, Joolee, Tiffany and Gina Lee for persevering and making some positive changes over the past couple of months. I am impressed with how many either lost weight or maintained at a tough (and delicious) time of year. 

A less hearty, but equally sincere pat to Kelly, Katy and Diane, who all weighed in the week before last, but didn't show up at the final weigh in on Friday. All three of them lost significant amounts of weight!

(If any of you want to know what your final percentage was without having to do actual math, send us an e-mail at myweightisasecret at gmail dot com. 

Thanks for all your comments, insight and good humor. 

Thanks to those who kept reading even though the contest got away from them somehow. We'll expect to see you next time. (cue menacing music)

And last but not least, a huge lump of thanks goes to Amy Lawson of Amy Lawson Inc. for writing about the contest on her mostly-famous blog and bringing many of you to us. She may have thrown her scale down the basement stairs, but she'll always be a winner to me. Also a quitter, but a quitter in the best way possible. Thanks, Amy Lawson!

Keep fighting those pounds, folks. It's worth the effort. Honest! And please come back for more Diet Cake anytime. 

What now?

Bring on the cookies! Yee haw!

Nah. Just kidding. (Kind of.)

First of all, if you didn't post your final weight and you should have, please do it! It's not too late. 

Once we've figured out who is who and what is what, we'll announce the winners of the First Annual Diet Cake Holiday "Ho Ho Ho We're Fat" Weight Loss Contest. Then we'll send those winners some sort of fabulous prize, which will include, but not be limited to, Egyptian trash. 

All of you, winners or not (oh gosh--you're all winners, but you know what I mean), figure out what's next in your battle to get/stay slim, strong and healthy. 

We'll keep posting here at Diet Cake. Maybe some of it will be helpful. (It could happen!) I hope you'll keep reading and letting us know about your successes and struggles. 

I'm thinking another contest is in order...maybe sometime in the spring. Won't that be fun? (Answer: of course it will)

A Contest! An Unnamed Contest!

You know how people eat too much during the holidays and gain 5-15 pounds in approximately 30-35 days and then find that it takes 3 months to 35 years to lose that extra weight? You know what I'm talking about, right? Well, let's not do that this year. I'm talking to you. Yes, you. You! Tell those visions of sugar plums to stop dancing around your head right now. (now!) I have a proposal. A proposal of the losing kind. I think we (this still includes you, by the way) should not only avoid gaining 5-15 pounds before the year is out, but we should also lose some weight. You heard me. Forget maintenance. Forget the status quo. We're talking about real live weight loss here. As in, pounds of fatty excess gone from your body. 

Rather than have a vague notion of doing this thing (remember "hope is not a plan?"), I propose that we have a little weight loss contest with prizes and everything. We at Diet Cake care about our reader. Oh wait. I'm seeing a problem here...um...I'll get to that in a moment. 

But first, let's talk about the contest itself. 

I think the grand prize should be $100,000. However, I'm a little short on $100,000es today and I think Sara might be in the same boat (please correct me if I'm wrong, Sara). Also, all our major corporate sponsors have either backed out or outsourced their blog weight loss competition sponsorship to India. 

But all is not lost. We will still offer a prize to the person who loses the most weight (as a percentage of starting body weight) during our competition. It will (brace yourselves) be worth dozens of dollars. I can't tell you what it is yet, because I don't know. I promise you will not hate it (unless you are incredibly picky, in which case you probably shouldn't be hanging out with me and my blog because I will undoubtably annoy you a great deal) and that you may or may not be the envy of everyone you know. 

How about some rules?

Weight loss contest rules:

1. Contest is open to anyone, including me and Sara. We only ask that all contestants be real people and over the age of 18. I don't know why they have to be over the age of 18, but it seems like something I should put in contest rules. 
2. Contest will begin on December 5th (there is a reason for this--be patient) and end on January 15th (of course).
3. To enter the competition, all you have to do is leave a comment on December 5th's post with your name and starting weight. If you don't want the internet to know what you weigh, let us know and we can make other arrangements.
4. Contestants must check in at least once a week to let us know they are still participating.
5. Contestants are requested to refrain from using extreme measures (e.g. fasting for the entire month of December, chopping off a limb) to lose weight. Please try to be healthy. If you don't know how to lose weight in a healthy manner, I'm sure there are people who could tell you (don't look at me!) As the restraining order forced us to remove our hidden cameras, the honor system will have to do.  
6. Contestants are also requested to refrain from being contestants if they are already below a healthy weight range for their height. We want to encourage good health!
7. Grand prize will be awarded to the person who loses the highest percentage of his/her body weight. There is a possibility that second and third prizes will be awarded, but don't count on it.
8. Sara and Holly reserve the right to disqualify any contestant who seems fishy, dishonest or non-human. We'll try to be fair, of course. 
9. We also reserve the right to amend these rules at any time during the contest. 

I'm sure I'm missing something...

Oh yes. Back to the fact that we get maybe 10 hits a day (I'm not counting hits from me and Sara) on this blog and many of those hits are from people looking for pictures of Igor (I'm not even kidding). We have a few faithful readers (thanks guys!) and one very faithful reader (thanks Wendi!), but it would be far more exciting if we could recruit others to join in our weight loss fun as well (of course it will be fun! what's not fun about eschewing cookies and pie all month?) Plus, I don't think Wendi needs to lose any weight. 

So, that's why we're not starting officially until December 5th. We need time to find contestants!

Anyway, if you're reading this, and you know of someone (or someones) who might be interested in losing weight over the holidays and possibly winning a not-so-valuable prize, please send them over to Diet Cake. 

Stay tuned for more information!