Woo! Day 2!

You should know that both excitement and rhyming hurt my head.

When I was in high school I was in an improvisational theater troupe called, ironically enough, "Improv." It was kind of like group-therapy-through-drama (which, looking back now, I think "How is that effective?" and also, "Boy howdy did we take ourselves seriously"). We acted out different scenarios of problems teenagers face (well, faced in the late 80s/early 90s, that is; I'm awfully glad I'm not doing this sort of thing nowadays!), and we'd always leave the dilemma open-ended which then enabled the counselor who lead our group to talk with the audience about how best to resolve the problem. This part was called "processing." I hated that part, but that's mostly because I've always hated talking about feelings. I was raised by a therapist, see, and while most people may have what they call an "inner child," I have an "inner therapist's child," which means that I tend to run the other way when faced with anything that even resembles a discussion of feelings. I have a very patient husband.

Thankfully for him (and I guess my own emotional well-being, blah blah blah), I've gotten much better at it over the years. I've found, however, that while I'm still not totally hunky dory with talking about how I feeeeel, turns out I kinda like problem-solving. I like stewing things over in my mind and coming up with possible solutions.

Holly and I would like for Saturdays to be the day that we process our week (btw, I'm totally making fun of my teenage self by using that word)("process," not "week") and make our plans for the week to come. What was hard about this week and why? What was easy? What can you do to replicate your successes and minimize your missteps? This is also a good time to brag on yourself, since I really believe that focusing on the positive is what does the most good. I think that the negative is useful for examination purposes only--"why did this happen and what can I do to keep it from happening again" sort of thing, and after that we need to move forward.

Since we've only just begun (cue Carpenters) and can't really examine this past week in terms of What Will Bring Us Closer to Winning Our Own Piece of Egyptian Trash, let's look for some positive things that we did this week. Like I'm sure somebody's t-shirt/bumper sticker/piece of flair says, it's not bragging if it's true. What good thing(s) did you do this week?

Also, if you haven't already, make up your plan for this week. Make it as detailed or as vague as you want, but at least consider what's going to happen in your life. I almost never plan my food out in advance (though in my defense, I pretty much eat the same stuff all the time), but I always plan my workouts. I may not actually do the prescribed workout, but at least I've considered what's going on that week and when and what type of exercise I'm going to do. That not only helps me set it in my mind that I am going to workout that week (whether or not I "want" to) , it also makes it easier to come up with a Plan B if something unexpected crops up. So think about your week, look at a calendar and figure out when you can exercise, check to see if you have Your Food in the house--what can you do to set the conditions for success?

In a not-related-to-bossing note, Holly and I are both so happy to have so many participants! Thanks for joining up, and we're looking forward to getting through these holidays together smaller than we started!

P.S. The picture at the top is one I took surreptitiously at the Pyramids.

A Contest! An Unnamed Contest!

You know how people eat too much during the holidays and gain 5-15 pounds in approximately 30-35 days and then find that it takes 3 months to 35 years to lose that extra weight? You know what I'm talking about, right? Well, let's not do that this year. I'm talking to you. Yes, you. You! Tell those visions of sugar plums to stop dancing around your head right now. (now!) I have a proposal. A proposal of the losing kind. I think we (this still includes you, by the way) should not only avoid gaining 5-15 pounds before the year is out, but we should also lose some weight. You heard me. Forget maintenance. Forget the status quo. We're talking about real live weight loss here. As in, pounds of fatty excess gone from your body. 

Rather than have a vague notion of doing this thing (remember "hope is not a plan?"), I propose that we have a little weight loss contest with prizes and everything. We at Diet Cake care about our reader. Oh wait. I'm seeing a problem here...um...I'll get to that in a moment. 

But first, let's talk about the contest itself. 

I think the grand prize should be $100,000. However, I'm a little short on $100,000es today and I think Sara might be in the same boat (please correct me if I'm wrong, Sara). Also, all our major corporate sponsors have either backed out or outsourced their blog weight loss competition sponsorship to India. 

But all is not lost. We will still offer a prize to the person who loses the most weight (as a percentage of starting body weight) during our competition. It will (brace yourselves) be worth dozens of dollars. I can't tell you what it is yet, because I don't know. I promise you will not hate it (unless you are incredibly picky, in which case you probably shouldn't be hanging out with me and my blog because I will undoubtably annoy you a great deal) and that you may or may not be the envy of everyone you know. 

How about some rules?

Weight loss contest rules:

1. Contest is open to anyone, including me and Sara. We only ask that all contestants be real people and over the age of 18. I don't know why they have to be over the age of 18, but it seems like something I should put in contest rules. 
2. Contest will begin on December 5th (there is a reason for this--be patient) and end on January 15th (of course).
3. To enter the competition, all you have to do is leave a comment on December 5th's post with your name and starting weight. If you don't want the internet to know what you weigh, let us know and we can make other arrangements.
4. Contestants must check in at least once a week to let us know they are still participating.
5. Contestants are requested to refrain from using extreme measures (e.g. fasting for the entire month of December, chopping off a limb) to lose weight. Please try to be healthy. If you don't know how to lose weight in a healthy manner, I'm sure there are people who could tell you (don't look at me!) As the restraining order forced us to remove our hidden cameras, the honor system will have to do.  
6. Contestants are also requested to refrain from being contestants if they are already below a healthy weight range for their height. We want to encourage good health!
7. Grand prize will be awarded to the person who loses the highest percentage of his/her body weight. There is a possibility that second and third prizes will be awarded, but don't count on it.
8. Sara and Holly reserve the right to disqualify any contestant who seems fishy, dishonest or non-human. We'll try to be fair, of course. 
9. We also reserve the right to amend these rules at any time during the contest. 

I'm sure I'm missing something...

Oh yes. Back to the fact that we get maybe 10 hits a day (I'm not counting hits from me and Sara) on this blog and many of those hits are from people looking for pictures of Igor (I'm not even kidding). We have a few faithful readers (thanks guys!) and one very faithful reader (thanks Wendi!), but it would be far more exciting if we could recruit others to join in our weight loss fun as well (of course it will be fun! what's not fun about eschewing cookies and pie all month?) Plus, I don't think Wendi needs to lose any weight. 

So, that's why we're not starting officially until December 5th. We need time to find contestants!

Anyway, if you're reading this, and you know of someone (or someones) who might be interested in losing weight over the holidays and possibly winning a not-so-valuable prize, please send them over to Diet Cake. 

Stay tuned for more information! 

What a Middle-Aged Surfer Can Teach Us About Thanksgiving

I thought about writing about how tonight when I was walking on the track at my kids' school I kept a really great pace because I was trying to make sure I stayed way ahead of any other people who were also on the track because I had gas. 4.52 miles in 71 minutes, thank you very much.

But (get it? Butt? Hee. I slay me.)(As a side note, something you should know about Holly is that when I first met her she was so refined that she wouldn't even say the word, "butt." It took me two years to wear her down.) I figured that that wouldn't be the most interesting post. Maybe it would, but that's sad. So instead I'm going to talk about Thanksgiving.

A couple of years ago I read a book by Anderson Cooper that I really liked--it was a good story well told, which is my main criteria for me liking it--but what I liked best was a phrase I took from it. I wish I were cool enough (or had enough brain cells, for that matter)(it is my time-tested hypothesis that placenta is made of brain cells) to remember the context of this phrase, but that doesn't make it any less good. Holly actually referred to it a few posts ago, because, well, I do say it a lot. "Hope is not a plan."

17 years ago, my husband was in Florida serving a mission for our church, and he was teaching a man named Greg. Greg was a nice guy--a typical surfer dude type--who was really interested in living a good life, but had a few addictions that he wasn't quite ready to give up. The way he said it several times to my dh was, "Man, I hope I repent." This has now become a saying that Holly and I use quite often when we're referring to something that is entirely in our power to do but that we may or may not actually get done. Such as, "Today I want to exercise and eat well. I hope I repent," or, "I really don't want to eat too much candy at my in-laws' house today. I hope I repent."

You get the idea.

With Thanksgiving coming up, you need a plan. You can't go into one of the most caloriffic days of the year saying, "I hope can control myself." Want to know why you can't do that? That's right, because hope is not a plan.

Your Thanksgiving plan can be any kind you want it to be. You can plan out everything you're going to eat and the exercise you're going to do that day and when. You can also plan to eat everything in sight and make sure there's always someone nearby to fetch things for you so you never have to get up. You could also take a more moderate approach and set yourself some guidelines, such as "Only a small piece of the dessert(s) that look really good," or "No thirds." Knock yourself out figuring out what's best for you. But while you're thinking of your plan, think about how you want to feel--physically and about yourself--that night or even the next day, and think about how you can best plan to make those feelings reality.

Now, I know that there's a school of thought that says, "It's the holidays! You should just relax and enjoy yourself!" You should know that I do not subscribe to that school. I do agree that the holidays are a great time of year and should be fun. However, I also believe that one day of gorging yourself and sitting on your duff (that's a term pre-Sara Holly would likely have approved of) all day is not going to do you any favors. You've tasted it all before. You will have another chance in your life to taste it again. This year make the decision to eat sensibly, make a plan for that, and follow through. The holidays are not about the food. They're about the people we love and getting in touch with our better selves. Thanksgiving in particular is about remembering the many things with which youve been blessed and expressing that gratitude, whether publicly or privately (personally, I am not a fan of having to go around the table and share something you're grateful for for every M&M that's in a little cup at your place, and I love that one year my brother-in-laws last gratitude was "I'm grateful that this is the last M&M.").

I do not, however, believe that the holidays are meant to be spent stressing out over every calorie and every morsel, or feeling guilty because you overslept and didn't get your workout done before it was time to start cooking/leave for Grandma's. Be realistic. You know you, and you know what challenges you're going to face on Thursday. Take all that into account, and do the best you can. You don't have to be perfect; just do your best. Eat three pieces of pie instead of your usual 5? Great! Just think about what you want to happen and then make a plan to make that happen. Want eat with wanton abandonment and just get back in the game on Friday? More power to ya! Plan it out!

Think it through. That's all I'm saying.

I hope we all repent :)

That picture up there is because when I entered "turkey" into Google Images, that map of the country, not the bird (though a map of a bird might be both gross and fascinating) is one of the first results that showed up, and it made me laugh, and since I am all about the humor, I went with it. Photo credit: shunya.net

If you fail to plan, you plan to gain 50 or 60 pounds

I promised the world a plan by tomorrow night. For once I'm true to my word. In fact, I'm early. I'm never early. I live across the street from my church and yet I'm consistently 2-3 minutes late for services. But I digress. I have a diet and exercise plan. Or, rather, I will be making one up as I compose this post. But by the time you read this (all 3 of you), I will have a plan. Confused yet? I am.

Plan, the:

Exercise:

I don't exercise much nowadays. That's not good. My joints ache, I don't sleep well, and things are lumpy. I feel that exercise may change these things.

(Always go with your feelings--just ask teenage girls.)

Fortunately, I also know that exercise will change those things (aches, bad sleep, and lumps--not teenage girls and their feelings).

• Exercise 6 times/week (Monday-Saturday) for at least 20 minutes.
• Plan type and time of exercise the night before.
• Keep track of it all on a chart. I love charts. So does Sara.
• Buy stickers for chart, preferably scratch and sniff (Bubble gum and green apple, please)

That's a pretty basic plan. For now, I'm not going to focus on what type of exercise--just doing something that benefits my body cardiovascularly or gives me muscles and/or less lumpiness. As I see it, developing the exercise habit is much more important right now than fine-tuning a fitness program. That'll come later, I'm sure, when I'm all skinny and decide I need abs of steel.

Food:

Mmmm...food.

• Make sure I eat breakfast before 9am. I used to be really good at this, but lately I forget to eat until 11 or so.
• Track my food and Weight Watchers points. Joel found a great app for my iPhone, so I don't even need to use a pen and paper like some crazy Luddite! (Joel can't believe I still read actual books made of paper.)
• AND (this is crucial), track everything I eat. Everything. Even on days when everything I eat is coated in cheese powder.

Again, I'm starting with the basics. I'm not setting calorie or point goals yet (though that should come soon.) I just want to raise awareness...of consumption of cheese powder.

Sleep:

• Get more of it
• Go to bed before midnight

Again with the baby steps and manageable goals.

Tomorrow night I'll post a wee analysis of my first day on the plan.

EDIT: I just noticed something on my "plan" picture. Under "exercise" I thought I wrote "boogie down." But it appears I wrote "boggie down" instead. Even better.

(See why I need more sleep?)

Confess and Assess

Weight loss is a constant battle. I know that's not a news flash to most of you--it isn't to me, either-- but the past 12 months or so have been even more strugglish than usual for me on the weight loss front. Last October my weight was in the low 170s after a long stint in the 180s and I anticipated continuing the weight loss and reaching my goal weight (Weight Watchers goal: 155, personal goal: 145) in the next year.

As Sara likes to say, "Hope is not a plan," and I'm afraid I was running more on hope than finely-tuned plans. Throw in some battles with medication difficulties and changes (no, no--I'm not trying to blame all my weight problems on that, but it was a factor) and some holidays that sprang up out of nowhere (Christmas is brand spankin' new, right?), and I was on the bullet train to Chubsville in no time flat.

At first my gain was slow (there goes my bullet train analogy), but I gained momentum rapidly and by late spring I was in the 190s.

Allow me to backtrack a little: when I joined Weight Watchers in February of 2007, my starting weight was 194.5 pounds. I received my 25 pound award in August of that year.

Back to this summer. By mid July, I hit 196.5 pounds, putting me two pounds above my starting weight (WW does not currently offer an award for this). I had given away all my size 14 clothes in the previous year and not only did I need those again, I was fitting into size 16 (and even 18--curse you, Old Navy!) for the first time ever. (Hey plus size friends--I realize you're pulling out your tiny violins at this point, but too much weight isn't good for you, whether it's 50 pounds or 150 pounds, wouldn't you agree? [If you don't agree, I don't want to know.])

I guess you could say in July I was near rock bottom (though my actual bottom was far from rock-like). I don't know exactly what made me stop the weight gain, though if I ever figure it out, I'm totally bottling it and selling it on QVC. Nonetheless, I stopped gaining and lost a few pounds before kind of hovering for a while in the lowish 190s.

Ever since, I've managed to avoid returning to the habits that put me on the gain train in the past, but I haven't really committed to doing anything that will produce steady and continual weight loss. I have lost a few more pounds over the past few months, it's true, and I'm happy about that, but if it's going to stick I need to start trying harder. Effort is a beautiful thing.

I've been working long and hard on my plan. Well, actually, so far my "plan" has consisted of not resisting Sara's efforts to get me to blog about weight loss for NaBloPoMo.

I hereby promise to make a plan. A real live plan for losing weight and doing it soon. And I also promise to post this plan on this blog (this one--right here) by midnight on this coming Monday.

Here's the rundown of how things are with me, weight-loss wise and health wise right now:

*Weight: 186 (yesterday it was 185)

*Height: still 5'9"

*Exercise regimen: none

*Best thing I eat regularly: broccoli

*Worst thing I eat regularly: Arby's mozzarella sticks

*Husbands who weigh less than I do: Joel

*Nights per week I get enough sleep: one or two

*Number of aches and pains: four

*Water consumed daily: around 48-64 oz

*Measurements:

-Upper arm: 14 inches

-Neck: 14 inches (for pity's sake--why is my arm as big around as my neck? Oh yeah. Frequent fried cheese consumption).

-Bust: None of your diggity dang business

-True waist (smallest part): 34 inches

-Waist at belly button: 37 inches

-High hips (at hipbone): 43.5 inches

-Largest hip measurement: 44.5 inches

-Thigh: 27 inches

-Knee (just above kneecap): 17 inches

-Calf: 16 inches

-Ankle (why not?): 8 3/4 inches

Well, that's the scoop. The scoopity scoopy scoop.

Stay tuned for the plan.