No! I'm not talking about smoking! What would make you say that? But why we're on the subject, if you smoke, you should probably stop. It's kind of bad for you and it stinks and stuff. But you know that already.
What I'm really here to discuss is my perverse and wrong-headed love of junk food. It's not that I don't enjoy unjunky (yes, it's a word) food. I can think of dozens of healthy and delicious foods I enjoy eating, but there are times when I'd gladly toss aside an entire plate of luscious fruits and vegetables in exchange for a lint-covered, toddler-handled Skittle from the depths of the couch. And in theory, chewed-up and reformed potatoes are totally icky, but I'll eat salt and vinegar Pringles until my taste buds are raw and the "chips" have clumped into an indigestible mass in my stomach.
What's the solution? I don't know. I'm usually smart enough not to keep my favorite crack-laced snacks around the house, but that doesn't seem to stop me from jumping into the minivan and going to the store in a fit of defiance. "I'll show you, self! You can't tell me what to eat! You're not the boss of me! " My inner teenager needs to shut up and go back to the 80's where she belongs.